How to Make a Zombie Episode: 5 Easy Steps

We've been trying to organize a Halloween-themed episode for three seaons now, but this was the first year we actually had the personnel and the lead time to make it happen. However, taking on a throng of bloodthirsty zombies isn't part of STBD's standard operating procedure, so we needed to contact some outside help.

Forthwith: our handy 5-step guide for creating a successful zombie video.

#1: Know your expectations.

Everyone in the STBD cast wanted to be involved with the episode, but we were limited in terms of shooting (and editing) time, which meant finding a spot for everyone would have been impossible. We decided to limit filming to two Sundays (!), and built the "script" (loose as it was) around the actors who were available.

Once we realized who was in and who was out, we concentrated on availability. Some actors were only free for the first shooting day, some for the second, and some for both. Thus, we needed to film everything we needed the half-available actors for while ALSO keeping track of who was where and when, in case we needed pick-up shots the following week.

I'm sure there are a few continuity bleeps as a result of this method, but overall I feel we achieved a cohesive, coherent story.

Aside from the whole "where did the zombies come from?" part...

#2: Have a great cast, including extras.

Caroline, Leo and Tabitha bond over the undead.
The STBD cast was super-excited about trying something outside the norm (for us). They brought dozens of their own ideas (and weapons) to the shoot, and there was very little they wouldn't do -- except turn into zombies.

When I found out some people are allergic to latex (it never crossed my mind), I checked with the cast to see who was allergic and who wasn't. It turns out 5 of our female cast members wouldn't have been able to be zombified in the first place, so I knew going in that I'd wind up with a mostly female zombie ass-kicking crew. Considering the general nature of STBD -- in whicch the women always seem to be 2 steps ahead of the men -- I think that's quite apt.

We also had a great turnout for extras willing to be zombified. Since Pittsburgh is the home of George Romero, Tom Savini and The Night of the Living Dead, you could say that zombies are quite common here. It also means that everyone in town jumps at the chance to play a zombie on film, so we ended up with over 20 zombies on-hand, many of whom were available for both Sundays -- we couldn't have done it without them.

Also, with as many sequences to film, as many extras to wrangle and as many shots to keep track of, there was a LOT of downtime for most people, but they were all good-spirited about the event. I honestly wish we could have filmed twice as much, but I'd still be editing it and that's not wise...

#3: Get great special effects people.

Dead again.
We also wanted big effects sequences, but we didn't have any money. Fortunately, Crystalann (aka Hailey) works in horror films quite regularly, and she was able to put us in touch with a great pair of makeup artists: Ashley Leshen and Jim Schmeichel. These two self-taught (!) effects wizzes had all the key ingredients we look for in collaborators: professionalism, creativity, and attention to detail AND budget. They also knew two other artists, Mili Jasarevic and Dave Sholtis, who were both willing and able to help out.

We supplied them with about $200 in special effects materials -- latex, makeup, mortician's wax, etc. -- and they used it to make their magic. As you can see from the finished video and related photos, these kids know their trade -- and they're all between 17 and 19 years old! (Side lesson: Don't let age distract you from someone's ability to produce quality work!)

We also had a hand from Ron Thompson at Spotlight Costumes in the South Side, who provided the prop gun that actually fires in the final act (as well as proper training so Lacey Fleming (aka Dierdre) and Ann Turiano (aka Caroline) didn't hurt themselves).

#4: Find a suitable, and safe, location.

This place is dead anyway...
We film a lot of STBD in the Pittsburgh neighborhood of Bellevue, where ThinkTank and 517521 are a few blocks away from Affogato. Andy Rubacky, the proprietor of 517521, is a) a huge STBD fan, and b) a huger zombie fan. When we mentioned the idea to him, he reminded us that 517521 and ThinkTank share a building with a vacant warehouse space on the 3rd floor.

Thus, we had our location.

After determining that it was moderately safe for over 40 people to be traipsing around in -- adequate lighting, no exposed electrical wires or obvious holes in the floor -- we found ways to work all 3 floors of the building into the episode, as well as a few choice sequences to be filmed in Affogato. Andy and Victoria (Affogato's owner) were incredibly accomodating, and also made cameo appearances in the episode -- Andy's the zombie in the orange Oriole's t-shirt and Victoria is the innocent bystander who gets attacked by zombies in the opening scene. Plus, she supplied the cast and crew with coffee, pumpkin bread and panini!

#5: Improvise.

Tom Simmons should never piss off a Ninja Zombie...
We wanted to do A LOT, but we only had time for so much filming, so we started with a list of ideas and built out from there.

First, the script was key. Even though only the first third of the episode exxisted in scripted form, every major dialogue sequence was sketched out well in advance. We knew who had to be saying what, and when, for the plot and the pacing to work.

Beyond that, most of the action (and much of the humor) was completely improvised. Some examples:

Weapons: The cast (and some extras) supplied their own weapons. It's amazing what you can come up with when some of the cast work at Renaissance Faires. Erik Schark (aka Rich) has two nephews who were eager to be zombified, and who had a slew of medieval weaponry at their disposal. (I won't ask why.) Lacey Fleming (aka Dierdre) personally supplied some of the more inventive props, including the chainsaw, throwing knives and hatchet. Do not fuck with this girl.

The dialogue: So much of STBD is improvised that I occasionally feel awkward calling myself the "writer" of the show. Still, half the dialogue ends up being scripted and the other half is improvised. Some examples from among our favorite lines:

"I'm a black man, I can find guns anywhere." (Scripted)
"Just in case this ends up being a dream sequence, what's our stand on necrophilia?" (Scripted)
"Get 'em, Tom." (Improvised)
"You ready for this, you zombie motherfucker?" (Improvised)
"Hey, pop-top! Try THIS baby!" (Improvised)
"People are turning into the undead! This is not a problem that's going to solve itself!" (Scripted)

The action sequences: There was ZERO forethought given to the action sequences, which sounds bizarre considering they take up the last half of the film. But since we had no idea how many zombies we'd have on-hand, and what weapons the makeup artists could effectively work around (bullet wounds, cuts, impalings, etc.), we decided to wing it on-set. Outside of Lloyd's untimely death and Caroline's over-the-top gunplay in the final sequence, EVERYTHING ELSE was invented on the spot.

The conveyor: Integral as it winds up being to the story, I had no idea there was a conveyor in the building until I checked out the location and never bothered working it into the script until the day we filmed. In reality, the conveyor IS covered with pigeon shit, but Emily (our Pigeon Shit Zombie) and Lacey were willing and able to traverse the ancient machine without cutting themselves, which turned out to be imperative.

The ending: We had another ending in mind for the episode, but we ran out of time (and light) to film it properly. Thus, while cutting it together, I realized the (completely improvised) exchange between Tim and Zombie Curtis would make a perfect counterpoint ending to Caroline's violent dispatching of the remaining zombies. Considering their bit was the last thing we filmed, at 1 AM in a warehouse with no heat, I'd say it wound up being quite effective.

And, of course...

Pregnancy Zombie: Deb is a friend of Will Guffey (aka Leo), and she and her husband Nelson W. Pyles, longtime fans of STBD, volunteered to be zombies for our first Sunday shoot. The catch? Deb was 9 months pregnant, and was actually due to deliver their 2nd daughter a few days after filming.

This apparently was not enough to dissuade Deb from volunteering for stunt duty.

Then, they take me aside and pitch me on a concept: since Deb is VERY pregnant, wouldn't it be funny if they bought a baby doll, and...

I said yes. They ran to CVS. The makeup artists (gleefully) cut the doll in half and rigged it to Deb's stomach. The rest is cinematic history.

And yes, the golf club tee shot off Deb's incredibly pregnant stomach was faked.

Sort of.